again...

so, storms (mainly tornados) again. apparently they are widespread across the entire midwest and the national weather service is saying this could be one of the deadliest days. my mother in law said an insurance agent is on her worship team at church and the NWS called him at his office telling him to be prepared for one of the worst days ever. so, this is big. I've been struggling all day that for the first time i'm actually letting the weather get to me....okay, so maybe i'm a little nervous. But here's the deal...i think i'm only nervous because i've let other people make me feel that way. (and that's what makes me really mad..) I couldn't even get through Dollar General today without hearing every person in every isle talking about the weather to come. (Okay, I'll admit that I was in dollar general looking for a magazine to take to the storm shelter figuring i'd have go down in there for awhile...i walked out empty handed sick to my stomach.)
Everyone thought my daughter's should be at my in-laws for safety. I was obviously asked to come too, but i just couldn't leave my dog at the mercy of tornados...it broke my heart. Some people say i'm heartless to worry about a dog over my family (WHICH I'M NOT) but then again, wouldn't that be heartless to not worry about the dog? so, I took the girl's to my in-laws because I would feel awful if something freakish happened and I didn't take them there, PLUS they are gauranteed much more safety there anyway. they really have been freaking out the last week over all these storms we are having. It's definitely unusual. They offered to let me keep the dog in the garage but I can see it now, she'd bark all night and scratch at the door because she'd be alone, then i'd be sitting in the garage during all the storms...I don't want to imagine ME trying to break down the kennel by myself and getting in my car and taking it over there..) If that's the case, well, i might as well be sitting in my own storm shelter...a big concrete box embedded underground (no, i don't have a basement). I thought about going to my dad's, I'd have a garage spot and i could have my dog inside, but i can't get ahold of him. i thought maybe my sister would like to come ride out the tornadic weather with me in the shelter since she doesn't have one, or a basement, but i can't get ahold of her either. So, after i took the girl's over to the in-laws....i just came back. And here I am, listening to the 50 mph wind, the clouds are building, my anticipation is growing...there's a tornado right now about 50 miles away, yet i'm not even in a tornado watch. I think what makes me the maddest (is that a word? whatever...) about this whole ordeal is that I have never before felt "unsafe and insecure" in MY OWN HOME. And now I do. I've always respected the weather, God can do what He wants right? And I'm smart about it, but I suddenly feel kinda scared, kinda queasy, uneasy, and very very lonely. Jason is on duty to make matters worse. That means he'll just be out on calls in the middle of a mid-western tornadic outbreak that's already starting. Oh.....there go some shingles off of my roof! well, I guess i'll just go...do...something to keep my mind busy. Maybe I'll toss my "storm-shelter bag" I've prepared down the stairs and just wait. This sucks.